I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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