I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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