Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
