Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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