i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
