If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
