she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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