you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize