so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
