our cab driver is having phone sex.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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