in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
