We're facebook friends in real life
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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