Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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