im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
