Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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