if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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