ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Houston, we have a squirter
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
