Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
