pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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