Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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