party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
