fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
