You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
