Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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