I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I will pee on everything he values.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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