I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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