hell yes lets make some ravioli
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
