Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
vagina is talking i cant
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
two words...techno handjob
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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