i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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