We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
