i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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