Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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