Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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(631): View more from New York

I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's paint friendship bongs

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(567): View more from Ohio

Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.

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(815): View more from Illinois

All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.

(859): View more from Kentucky

The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Can I borrow your pants?

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

WTH?

(318): View more from Louisiana

Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless

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