He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My vagina is very pro this idea
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
