dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she told me i tasted like america
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
