It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
