It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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