Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs