Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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