Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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