Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.

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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(805): View more from California

He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

(949): View more from California

How do you have pretend sex?

(805): View more from California

It was bad...so it was pretend

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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(214): View more from Texas

Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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(303): View more from Colorado

Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.

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