You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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