Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
