He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
