The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
