help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
