the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
