so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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