K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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