I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize