hotel room ftw
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
