erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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