I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
