the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Even my vagina gasped.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
