READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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