tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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