just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
