brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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