Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
