The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
