I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize