U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize