hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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