I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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