Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
