Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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