My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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