By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
