I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
