TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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